Thursday, March 27, 2008

Falling off the wagon (aka, I make myself sick sometimes)

Not that I've really been on the wagon that much lately. I guess I don't really know what it would mean to be "on" the wagon. Stop at 1500 calories a day? Who knows. All I know is that when I went to the doctors last week I was 248, which is dangerously close to 250, which is dangerously disgusting.

So what do I do? Eat, of course. Have I mentioned how sick I make myself?

I'm at a library conference in Minneapolis. Yesterday I ordered room service because I was completely knackered from a long day of driving and flying and waking up at 4am. So I ate room service food.

Today I had pizza and french fries. I went out to walgreens this evening and bought a protein bar and strawberry milk, which I didn't finish, thank goodness, but I still feel really sick.

Plus I've been getting headaches a lot. This is kind of personal, but so is this whole blog. About 3 years ago I experienced horrible headaches when I - ahem - had an orgasm. Like my head was going to explode. I went to the doctor, and they said that probably I had high blood pressure, and that was that. My blood pressure is good though - 120 over 70. I was just at the doc last week. So no high blood pressure. When they happened three weeks ago, it was when I wasn't working out so much, and I haven't been working out so much lately, so I wonder if it's related. Eventually they went away, and I'm hoping that if I start working out seriously again, they'll go away.

I have a physical in about 2 months. I hope I can lose about 15 pounds in 2 months. I should be able to do this. We are going to Italy in September. Can I lose 40 pounds by then? God, I hope so.

I have to do this. I have to start tonight. I have to keep saying that I'm starting, and actually do it.

My hotel has a gym. I'm going to work out. Maybe my headache will go away.

Thanks for listening.

God, I feel disgusting.

It's a bad day.

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