The church of Oprah

When Liz Lemon on 30 Rock was asked about her religion, she replied, "I mostly just do what Oprah tells me." I've never been a huge Oprah watcher - I think I've probably watched less than five full episodes in my entire life, but I do get her magazine, and with all the hullabaloo about her weight recently, I had to watch her kickoff to Best Life Week today.

Bob Greene, her famous trainer, is hosting a webcast next week where he's going to give his specifics on getting back in shape. To get started for that, he gave five questions to ask ourselves to get to the heart of what it is we really want, including things like, "Why did I fail at losing weight before?" "Why do I want to lose weight?" and "what would really make me happy?"

So I was thinking about my life, and the things that I would like to have it really make me happy. I want to listen to more of my music. We always listen to J's music, or sports on the tv. I want to listen to mine, even if he thinks it's silly. I want to listen to Marketplace on NPR every day. I want to go to museums. If I'm really honest, I'm tired of always doing everything for everybody else. I clean the cat litter, I make the meals, I keep the house clean, I-ahem-work and make our money, and I'm tired of it. I don't want to do it all the time. I don't mind doing it some of the time. But not all of the time.

Sheesh, that all just came spilling out, didn't it?

So, yeah, that's what I want.

I want to travel and have friends and go back to doing interesting things like I did when I was in London and was pretty healthy. I want to sing and play instruments more. I want to not be tired.

I lost weight in the past and then gained it back because... hmmm... I was super healthy when I was 20, and then it just seemed to get boring. I got tired of the gym. And I have always turned to food for comfort. When I was 20 I could do that because my metabolism was better. I can't do that anymore.

And I want to lose weight to... have more confidence in myself. I'm tired of hiding and not doing what I want to do in life (take belly dancing classes, start businesses, run) because people will think I'm fat.

And the great clothes wouldn't be bad either.