The Rules of Weight Gain I have been Living By

I'm sure there are more than this list that I don't even know about yet, but here are some of the rules I have been living by that have led to my current weight, which is hovering somewhere near 239 (the needle is right in the middle between 239 and 240).

1) If you drink diet coke, it doesn't matter what else you eat because the diet coke negates any other calories.
I mean, duh, right? Of course, if you're drinking something without any calories, of COURSE it means that the ice cream you're having with it will be impacted, right?

2) Calories on special occasions don't count.
This could be something that could be lived with, if I didn't count everything as a special occasion. Not just vacations and holidays. I count going to a new grocery store as a special occasion. Or PMS. Or picnics. Or if I go to a new mall. Or if I'm at someone's house. Or if I get an oil change. Or if I get a car wash. Or if it's payday. And on and on... Every day is a special occasion in my world! Yipppeeee! It's GREAT to be me with all my specialness. Sigh.

3) Working out for 45 minutes totally negates everything I've eaten all day.
I mean, come on, if I'm gonna sweat that much, it has to mean that I can eat whatever I want, right?

4) I have the metabolism of a 13 year old.
When really I'm almost 33 and didn't even have that metabolism when I was 13.

5) I don't have a problem.
I think this is the biggest one. I went to a couple of OA meetings a few years ago and was really pissed off at everyone in the room. They all had problems, I thought, but not me. I was healthy and I just ate too much chocolate. Admitting that I had an addiction that I needed help managing? Admitting that I was out of control? Sheesh, not me. No way. No how. They all were the ones with the problems, but not me. They were just weak. They were giving control away. Not me. I'm Miss In Control. Nobody tells me I don't have control over something. It's still really hard for me to admit that I have a problem. I want to simplify it. "I just eat too much. I could stop whenever I wanted..." I sound just like an alcoholic with that kind of thinking.

I'm not to the point yet where I can admit that I have an addiction that will be with me forever and I will always need to manage. But I guess I'm getting closer.

To be filed in the Small Victories folder - yesterday my entire outfit was from the Gap, which means that I fit into their clothes. I'm holding out to go into Express. Maybe this year? Who knows. I haven't been in Express since I was in college. I don't even know if I'd like their clothes anymore, but I can't wait to have the option...