breakfast this morning

So far today I had a special k protein shake, an apple, and some ginger tea with 1.5 sugars.  I'm thinking about what to have for lunch in a little bit.  Thinking of some brown rice and beans or something like that...

Dinner last night

I didn't log what I had for dinner last night, and even though nobody's reading this, as part of my weight-loss, I want to log everything.

So yesterday afternoon before dinner I had 2 handfuls of almonds and a small piece of ham (was making dinner at the time).

For dinner I had 2 slices of ham leftover from Christmas, green beans, 4 mini red potatoes, and a bit of french bread.  For dessert I had apples dipped in fruit dip (some kind of cheesy concoction).  Then 2 more lindor truffles fell into my mouth.

Yesterday evening I had a little bit of chocolate milk.

All told, I ate about 2100 calories.  Not great, but not bad.  I also drank 5 glasses of pure water.

oops

I was out in the kitchen making my peppermint mocha (skim milk, espresso, chocolate shavings, peppermint syrup, a little bit of whipped cream) and a lindor truffle popped into my mouth.  

ooops.

Lunch

So, it's now 2pm.  I went for a walk through the woods - 1.6 miles of hilly terrain, 25 minutes.

For lunch I had a bowl of italian wedding soup - I love that stuff!  A little bit of french bread.  And a big glass of water.

I'm going to make myself a decaf mocha at home with skim milk in a little bit.

I'm embracing hunger.

Getting this blog going again

So I'm getting this going again.  It's officially "on".  Why now?  What's been going on with me that I'm finally getting my ass in gear again?

Well.  I got pregnant and gained weight.  Then I lost the baby at 21 weeks due to an infection, and still have some of the weight. That was 3 months ago.

Hubby has been waking me up for about a month, saying that I've stopped breathing.  I guess it's sleep apnea.  Last night I woke up gasping for air.  This was super-scary.  I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, but in the meantime, when I look at the things that cause sleep apnea, the number one factor that's within your control is weight.

If I had been looking for a wake-up sign from God, this one was it.  That's it, I'm done with fat, it's on.  Like, no kidding.  I am seriously not up for waking up gasping for air every night, nor do I want to die in my sleep - I've got too much sh*t to do in life.

So.  The stats.

This morning I weighed in at 252 pounds.  This is very bad.  My goal is to lose about 80 pounds, but that's going to have to be done in stages, as I want to get pregnant again soon.  So the first goal is 30 pounds.  I could do that even while pregnant - yes, I know it's bad to severely limit calories whilst pregnant, but many studies have shown that obese women can lose weight in the first trimester, and it's perfectly fine.  I will be doing it under a doctor's supervision, and will stop if anything gets dodgy.

When I was 220 before, I was very healthy and happy with my weight.  It wasn't perfect, but I felt fit.  Plus I could fit into a size 18.  That was when I lived in NY and was walking everywhere, so that was part of it.  I think getting down to 220 will ease the worst of the sleep apnea, and get me back on a healthy path.  Then I can deal with getting down to 170 after that.  First things first.  The first thing is that I don't want to wake up gasping for breath ever again, and getting to 220 will help that.

So.  For breakfast this morning I had:
a Kellog's Special K protein shake (190 calories, 10 grams protein, 5 grams fiber).
an apple
gingerbread herbal tea with 2 sugars

Will keep posting updates.